The Fingerman Method

There’s always a reason for us to hang out with people. We don’t hang out with people that don’t add value to our life. This is what a lot of puas reffer to as attraction, the value that the girl perceives you will bring to her life. This is also the case for friends, business partners, female friends and any type of relationship you might want to have with an individual. If you bring nothing to them, they will not want to hang out with you, and if they bring nothing to you, you will not want to hang out with them.

A form of value that everyone knows is looks. You see a hot girl, she has value to you because you can sleep with her, befriend her and increase your value or maybe even she could be the girl you spend the rest of your life with.

Another exemple of value that most of you will recognize is playfulness. If you meet a girl in a bar and you guys are both playful with each other, it pumps both of your states, it makes you guys have a good time which enough enhencement to your lifes for both of you to stay there.

Would that be enough to form a friendship or for her to want to see you again only based on that playfulness? Maybe, but probably not. If you do nothing else the moment will pass and the next day only playfulness doesn’t add enough value to her life.

What kind of value could you bring that would make her want to become friends, or hang out at a later time so you can “game” her more and maybe hook up with her.

In my opinion, the most powerful of all value: Commonalities.

How do I know? Think of your best friend. The guy or girl that you can call randomy at any time. Why do you get along with him ir her so well?

I know that my 3 best friends in the world aren’t guys that I’ve known for 10 years. They’re guys I met a few years ago, but we are all obsesed with pick up, we have a shared goal. We have the strongest commonality that 2 people can have.

Why do some friendships fall appart, and some new are created? Lost or creation of commonalities.

We want to be with people like us. Having a one night stand with someone you have no commonalities with is not a hard thing to do, but being friends or starting a relationship with someone you have no commonalities with is impossible.

This is why for having a healthy life, I recommend you go to school, have a job, watch sports, drink and smoke weed. I do neither of those things and this is why the only close friends I have are PUAs themselves.

Also, being able to demonstrate commonalities early in an interaction with highly raise your value in the eyes of the people you are interacting with, allowing you to “game” them for a longer period of time.

A thing that I’ve been finding very effective is when you open a group and you feel the girls are attracted enough, you want to throw a huge qualifier to the girl you like based on something generic like her name, her job, a piece of clothing, her race, her appearance, etc.

Example would be:

*to a black girl* You know what, I love black people, my 2 best friends in Canada are black. Out of all of my like 100 friends only 2 of them are black, but they are the best!

*to a girl wearing a particular piece of clothing* I have something to tell you, I love women that wear xxx, it all started when I used to date this other girl and she would always wear that, now when I see it it brings back good emotion.

*to a nurse or any job* That’s crazy. I love nurses, being with a nurse is like my biggest fantasy, it really turns me on to know that a woman could take care of me when I’m down.

Basically you’re just letting her know that she qualifies as the type of women that you like. It makes her feel like there’s a reason why you like her and not others.

Of course, if you like it’s probably better to end everything with a push like “You know what, I love black people, my 2 best friends in Canada are black. Out of all of my like 100 friends only 2 of them are black, but they are the best! But don’t get too excited, it would never work between us, I’m just a small town boy and you’re a city girl, I need to see a cow everyday or I get sad!”

French being my first language, I always struggled with the subtleties of the English language and when I would try teasing the girl it would always come off as an insult. Also never having anyone to tease growing up even in French I wasn’t good at it. As I got older and met a lot of people who considered me their elder or mentor, teasing came naturally and I started to understand it more.

The reason why you would do push pull is to escalate, flirt, let your intention known without putting pressure on the girl and while keeping it fun, exciting and unpredictable. You can fuck many girls, probably more girls actually with only pulling, but in the end, push pull is less polarizing and will get you blown out less. But at the same time, it’s less strong than just a strait up pulling comment.

An example of pulling would be:

I feel romantic tonight let’s hold hands.

Would probably work really strongly on a small % of girls and get you in if it does.

An example of adding a push would be:

I don’t want you do buy me flowers, that’s just weird, but I feel romantic tonight let’s hold hands.
or
I feel romantic tonight let’s hold hands, but don’t go buying me flowers that’s just weird.

Basically to me a push pull is just saying a statement of intent, or telling your intention, but adding a “but”.

Another example would be to say this to the girl or the friends:

Pull only

We’re gonna get married *and you put your arm around the girl*

Push pull

We’re gonna get married, but don’t you fall in love with me I’m just trying to get American citizenship

Sometimes I will say:

You’re really adorable… but…

and then I run out of things to say. Then the girl will be like “…but what?” and I just say “I don’t know” and it seems to have a similar effect.

Let’s make something clear, in a loud bar or club, you can only open the girl cause it’s too loud. Ignore the latest part about group dynamics, that only works in quiet areas like smoking, patios, etc. I try to only go to those kind of places nowadays.

If you approach a girl that is worse looking or perceives you as better looking, and you approach with what PUAs call a direct opener, you will instantly have attraction. Being too funny, teasing too much, playing hard to get, “gaming”, whatever you call it “building attraction” will get you blown out. Instead, enter the interaction in comfort/vibing mode. After that, if you can get a good enough connection and escalate you will pull the girl.
The only problem is that doing that you alienate the friends who will cockblock a big percentage of the time. The reason is they don’t know you. They hate you. They must cockblock. It’s like as soon as they see you, they MUST cockblock. No matter how fucking cool you are, the seed is already planted in their mind that they must cockblock.
Maybe 1 every 5 times the friends will be open to their friend getting fucked, or they will be too shy to cockblock, or they will see that the girl likes you soooo much that they won’t do anything. Sometimes the girl actually likes you so much that she tells the friend to fuck off.

That seems like a lot of luck involved in the process and it’s up to you if you want to reach the next level or you want to keep fucking girls that are less attractive than you (or perceived attraction) and get cockblocked all the time; making getting laid like rolling a dice.

If you are lucky enough to find a better looking girl than you that you can approach without interacting with the friends and getting cockblocked instantly, it is not rare that you can get a short term attraction from her just by approaching with good tonality, bodylanguage, and maybe a funny line or just a “Hi, I’m Fingerman”.
You will need to keep up this attraction throughout the pickup every few minutes otherwise it will go away and the girl will get bored. You can do that with a simple push pull line everyonce in a while such as “I would love to take you to my country… but I would never introduce you to my parents.” See end of the post for a list of push pull lines.
When opening direct you again automatically starts the interaction in comfort/vibing but you will need to sparkle attraction and qualify every few minutes. Saying small qualifying questions like “You look like you do something creative” will test the water to see how attracted she is at the moment.
To understand this you must have a lot of emotional intelligence and be able to read if a girl is attracted, and how she feels on a moment to moment basis. If you cannot, keep going out, observing people, trying to read and understand what’s going on. Don’t go berserk and blind and throw shit at the wall. Try to understand what’s going on or you will never learn and you will be blind to social interactions for the rest of your life.

If you approach a group with something that engages the whole group such as “I need a female opinion, can you wear jeans do a wedding”, you will not get attraction from that, but it will open 90% of the sets. Even massive bitches that are not attracted to you at all will answer that question. Even dudes will answer that question.
I try to include everyone or as many people as a can. Then you spot the girl you like and you use push pull lines on her but you speak to the group “Look at her she’s the mean one, she’s judging me right now. I bet that’s what she does in the club she just sits in a dark corner and judges everyone. I’m sure she’s just waiting for me to say “about” so that she can make fun of my Canadian accent. Is she always like that?”. Wait to see if you get any/enough IOIS and then test the water with a small qualification hoop like you switch to the girl you like and you say “You look like you do something creative”. See what she gives you and if you need to build more attraction.
Every girl has a different way of showing attraction so test the water before you go overkill with the attraction. You can just chill there and wait to see what they do, no need to go crazy and make them fucking cry in laughter. A lot of the time the girl won’t show she’s attracted but she will be enough to qualify herself to you.
If you open the group instead of just her, you will need to qualify before you switch to comfort/vibing because otherwise it seems weird. Qualification is kind of like the bridge between dancing monkey and cool man that she’s getting to know. If you see the group getting angry or bored or something just switched back to group conversation like “You guys won’t believe what she just told me, she’s crazy, your friend is crazy, why do you guys even hang out with her”. Isolate after 5-10 minutes “I want to introduce you to my friends”.
Since you planted the seed that you are making her attracted to you by teasing her, you will need to sparkle some push pull throughout the pick up. I like to do it at the same time that I escalate “I want to sleep with you… but I would never introduce you to my parents”. Same with qualifying, you need to keep qualifying everyonce in a while as you guys get to know each other and vibe.

Make out with her. Take her home. Be nice to the female and male friends. Talk to them. Be their bro. Don’t worry if they are being massive cockblocks, if you’re nice with them and get to know them you probably will have your chance with your girl later. If not, well they would have cockblocked anyway. Re engage your chick with random opinion openers or push pull lines when you can and try to isolate.
Make out with her. Take her home. If logistics suck take her number if she is SUPER hot. Don’t waste your time with fatties.

Never text. Call her a few times a week and talk for 20 minutes. Wait for her to ask you out.

*Comfort/vibing just means getting to know each other like normal people.
*Qualifying means asking questions or making statements that make her feel good about herself and that makes her feel special and that there’s a reason for you to choose her. “You look like you do something creative” “What did you want to be when you were a kid”.

Push pull lines

You’re either the coolest person I ever met… or you’re just strange, I don’t know yet.
I want to take you to my country… but I would never introduce you to my parents.
You’re the meanest girl in your group.
Look at how she’s looking at me, she’s so judgmental. I bet she’s the meanest girl in the group.
You have a cute girls face… but your conduct is evil.

Small Hoop Qualifying

You look like you do something creative
You look like you travel a lot
You look like you’re someone with a lot of emotional intelligence.

All those lines can be used 1on1 to your target or speaking to the group, about your target. Just use them a few times and then your brain will start making them up.

I think people get very confused with game because different places have different rules like loud places, dark places, places where friends are more likely to cockblock, places with lots of guys, places where people are drunk, etc. and they don’t know when to use group opening and direct opening.

I think people also get confused because they get advice from good looking people, and bad looking people, people that fuck ugly chicks, people that fuck hot chicks. They also get confused because they get advice from people who go out every day and fuck 1 girl a week. They think they are pimp but think about it if you talk to 200 girls to fuck 1, can you say whatever you want? Are you enough? Fuck yeah you are enough.

If I was going to teach a course on how to fuck fatties I would make it different than how to fuck hot girls. If I was going to teach a really good looking man, an average man, and an ugly man I would also make it different. If I was going to teach going to a loud dark club or going to a nice outside patio I would also make it different.

To me the natural state of mind would be when you wake up in the morning. It also includes when you’re hungry, tried, sad, happy, whatever.

Your state of mind is your state of mind. It doesn’t actually change. It’s like a switch that’s on and off. It’s the same switch, just at a slightly different angle.

By putting emphasis on the fact that the switch is on, you automatically put emphasis on the fact that it will be off. By putting emphasis on the fact that you’re in a good state, you’re putting emphasis on the fact that you will be in a bad state.

If you just put emphasis on the fact that you’re state is normal, then you’re putting emphasis on the fact that your state will be normal. State can’t be abnormal. It’s like a switch. It can be on and off. But it can’t be abnormal. It’s just a switch.

Actually, I just say normal but even no qualifier would be even better. Just state. Not good. Not bad. Not normal. This way. It can’t go in any direction.

Emotions, feelings and sensations come and go. It’s their nature. Pain is merely a feeling. Fatigue is merely a sensation. Happiness is merely an emotion. Why would you focus on something that is so ephemeral? Wake up people! This doesn’t make sense.

Look at whatever you’re feeling and just look at it. Don’t put emphasis on it by talking about it, labeling it, hating it or even LOVING it. Love for a sensation brings craving which brings desire which brings unsatisfaction which brings you not picking up and taking action and calling your numbers and approaching which brings you to not getting laid.

I’ll tell you a story.

For the purpose of this story I will call him “Pick up dude”. Pick up dude loves being in state. He goes out with friends. Picks up women. Has fun. Loves life. He feels soooo happy.

Next day Pick up dude wakes up. He feels tired. He doesn’t call his numbers. He doesn’t feel like it. He feels like working on the computer. He feels even more like crap after working for 8 hours. He goes out at night with his friends. He pumps his state by doing funny things. He loves life again. He’s so happy. He feels like picking up so much. He picks up women all night.

Next day he feels like crap again. Pick up dude thinks to himself I should go pick up chicks today. But I don’t feel like it. I should work today. But I don’t feel like it. Pick up dude thinks “I should travel.”

Pick up dude travels to Brazil. Pick up dude LOVES traveling. He feels so happy. After 1 month. Pick up dude feels like crap in Brazil. He comes home. He LOVES…

Do you see where this is going? Do you see the pattern? Pick up dude loves and hates too much. As much as Pick up dude loves, Pick up dude hates. Makes him very unhappy and unfocused. He feels like he has no direction or purpose.

So how does this relate to pick up?

Everyone I know in the community refers to “being in state” as something positive to picking up women.

I do not think this is not something positive. If you can be in state, it obviously means that you can be out of state.

The power of gaming without state is that:

1.You will be more consistent because you will never be on or off. You will only be.
2.You will go out more because you will never be on or off. You will only be.
3.Your game is going to get better SUPER fast because you will be going out a lot. Gaming all the time everywhere.
4.You will pursue numbers and dates any time of the day because you will never be on or off. You will only be.
5.You will have more focus, strength, harmony and centeredness in your life which is attractive to women.
6.You will get laid a lot more because you will not miss those opportunities that you miss all the time when you’re off.
7.You will glow in the dark. (Results may vary)

How do you learn to game without state?

The first thing you need to do is to upgrade your level of awareness and harmonious feeling in everyday life.

You do this by being concentrated on your body and thoughts as much as you can. When you feel a sensation of pain or pleasure. You tried to stay as unreactive as possible. You just look and notice. You don’t react positively or negatively. Same thing with any sensation such as fatigue, joy, sadness, stress, boredom, excitement, etc. Don’t put a label on them. Pain isn’t bad. It’s merely a sensation. Pleasure is not good, it’s merely a sensation.

Just try your best. No one is perfect. Actively doing it when you’re alone, working, and stuff like that will make you better at it, hence improve the amount of time you spend in your natural state. You can do it anywhere, anytime, doing anything.

Doing this will make your “usual everyday life state” better. If you are like most people, when you’re not feeling good, you’re probably feeling bad. Do you feel good waking up, walking down the street, right after work? Maybe not, and this will help you. It won’t make you feel good. It will make you feel normal, neutral, fulfilled.

The second thing you want to do is lower the amount of “happy state” you’re using when you go out.

Here’s what I did:

I went out alone and I stopped self amusing.

This might seem harsh but it will truly teach you to game in your without state as in my opinion the 2 things that change your state the most is the presence of your wingmen and self amusement. If you need this to pick up, then you are attached to it, then you crave it, then you feel happy when you have it and sad when you don’t. A good exercise is to go out alone and not self amuse. Just be chill and strait to the point with the chick.

Basically, you want to slowly implement letting go off the positive and negative state that you have when you’re going out. You want to level it out. If you’re too happy, tone it down, if you’re too sad, self amuse a little. All this in order to be in your normal state.

Once you start doing that, picking up becomes kind of a meditation. Everything becomes kind of a meditation.

1. Always stay until 4 am or at least until your wings want to leave. Always be the last one staying.

2. Always say “yes!” to whatever venue you’re going, set to open or crazy stuff to do. Be down for anything.

3. Never complain about anything such as pain, fatigue, fear, lack of sets. Reframe everything as positive.

4. Open lots of sets. Let your wings join. Let them have some of your chicks if they like them instantly.

5. Go and wing your wingman in every set he’s been in for a while (unless he obviously doesn’t need a wing). But peace out if the chick doesn’t like you. Remember that a wingman is only optional and not needed in any set. The best purpose of wings is just to hang out at the bar and have fun. If you have no game or your game is retarded then don’t wing at all lol.

6. When winging, only engage the other chicks. Never your wing’s cherished girl. Lead and isolate the other chicks so that he’s alone. Talk talk and talk to the obstacles. Don’t just sit there and chill. Don’t start a group conversation with your wing and his cherish. As soon as it’s on which could be instantly or after 10 minutes, all rules go away. Just chill and enjoy.

7. Never give your wingman negative feedback on his game, only positive. Always tell him that his set was amazing. Tell him what he’s doing right. Focus on what was positive about the set. Could be how hot the girl was. That she smiled. Anything positive but never try to correct him. If you are teaching someone, never correct him, give him something to practice and send him into sets. If he doesn’t do it, it means he’s not ready yet. Just keep sending him into sets and every couple of sets give him something else to try such as “Try to claw” or “go open that set and be SUPER chill”. No micro managing or negative nonsense. You can do negative such as, “go talk to this girl and don’t claw her” or something like that but most of the time you can just use a positive form. Only focus on one thing at a time when sending your learning wings into sets.

8. Go out everyday and text/call them every time you go out. If they are unsure just plow and tell them to come. They need to feel like every time they don’t come out they are disappointing you and that you will think they are chodes (even if it’s obviously not the case). Don’t put him down if he doesn’t come out. If they don’t come, you don’t give a fuck cause you love going out alone anyway. In any case that they call you, you’re always down. Anytime, anywhere. You’d rather go pick up with your wings than go out on day 2s or fuck your girlfriends.

I think almost everyone has something weird or creepy or not calibrated about them when they are picking up chicks.

And I think if you really want to be successful at this you need to be able to see it. You need to be able to see the emotion that you make the girls feel. This is something that Jeffy talks about in his bootcamp.

An example is like Alex in the video that got leaked. If you remember he tells the girl something like “Ok maybe you think this is a little weird but I was conceived to this song and I really feel the love right now”. And throughout the video he keeps making references to other men in Australia being pussies and that he doesn’t like that.

So the girl is kind of weirded out by this strange man that just came and talked to her, but she can rationalize that he is like that because of what he said and that it’s normal. So she is not creeped out anymore and she can fully enjoy Alex’s good sides even if they are outside of her reality.

But does he have to do it with all the girls? I don’t think so, I think some of them will just fully love him when he’s like that. They wont even question it they’ll think that shit is normal.

So if he didn’t calibrate his approach by saying that stuff then he would only pull chicks that love that side of him and don’t judge it.

So some girls will love that side of you that is different or uncalibrated, but you will end up losing a lot of them fast unless you see it, and calibrate it to the girl.

This is why people that game like robot just spitting things at girls (whether is was a routine, improvised shit or caveman kino) suck at picking up chicks. They are just going through the moves without looking at how they make the women feel. This is something that Jeffy talks about in his posts and bootcamps so I didn’t pull it out of nowhere.

Yes you need to ignore the shit test, but you cant ignore what they feel.

I’ll never reply logically to a woman’s “You’re creepy”. But if I feel she is creeped out I will proactively do something to change it. That is the difference. If she says it she’s testing you. If she feels it it’s different, she’s not testing you, that’s how you’re making her feel and she will probably leave soon unless you do something.

How it works for me is that I always get way too close to them too quickly and talk in their ears and hold their waist.

Some girls love that shit. Some girls think it’s creepy as fuck. So with the girls that think it’s creepy I make some kind of rationalization for them like “Oh I’m sorry I’m from Canada and this is my first day here I’m really excited.” Could be anything it’s just the one I’ve been using this week.

So the fact that I can get away with being so close to them so quickly it’s so powerful because maybe she gets comfortable around me quickly, or turned on or she rationalizes that she likes me or I dunno. Same with Alex, the fact that he can get away with being so self amusing and spitting so many words, I’m sure it helps him a lot, I’m not sure how lol but whatever.

Anyway I hope this makes sense, this is something that is not talked about very often here and I think it’s massively important. Jeffy refers to it as “riding the emotionnal wave”. I think it’s important that there is an expression for it so that people put a label on the concept and internalize it.

In this order:

1. A new earth -> Talks about being in the moment, letting go of the past and problems.

2. Mastery -> Talks about plateaus while learning a skill, and why you should embrace them.

3. Awaken the giant within -> Talks about positivity and how to have necessary inner game for picking up girls (The most important book, all the inner game principles seem to be based on it)

4. 7 habits of highly effective people -> Talks about how to understand people (women are people), and to communicated effectively with them, and get what you want and to proactively work in your circle of influence.

5. ??? Not sure yet, I’ve read David Deida and Iron John and other community recommended books and yes they are very good but they didn’t change my life like those ones did.

I also recommend you read them slowly, throughout the year. Like maybe 30 minutes a day or 2 hours a week or something like that. This way you will really get to experience what you read in real time and internalyse it.